i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
