it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
