This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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