Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
