so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
