honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
