I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
