So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
