Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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