hell yes lets make some ravioli
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
