I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have fence marks all over my body
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
