now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
