it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if you like me you must not know who I am
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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