Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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