Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
