so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
this will be a night to untag.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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