Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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