a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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