Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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