i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
