I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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