you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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