so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
