She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
