Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
