i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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