I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
