Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
