I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize