Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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