And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
