bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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