There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize