It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
