i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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