6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
