so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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