And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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