Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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