the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
