What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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