girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
