We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
