We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
