I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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