Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
