she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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