A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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