my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
