another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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