What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
