How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
