I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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