I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
