summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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