**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize