I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
