so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
time to smoke my breakfast
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
