literally had 100 drinks last night.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
