What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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