do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
