like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize