I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
