FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
