is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it glows. i had to have it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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